Relational Wisdom for Unplanned Pregnancies

Note: material from the 2023 Care Net Conference will be added as soon as we receive the audio recordings.

For many people, an unplanned pregnancy triggers surprise, joy and excited anticipation. But for others, it thrusts them into a time of confusion, anguish, fear and conflict. This tsunami of emotions can quickly engulf not only the woman carrying the unborn child but also her husband or boyfriend, as well as her parents, extended family, church, employer ... and a coach at a pregnancy center.

With so much at stake, especially the little life hanging in the balance, it is essential that pregnancy coaches bring an array of relational skills to bear, including the gospel, biblical wisdom, emotional intelligence, empathy and compassion, and a seasoned ability to act as a peacemaker.

With these needs in mind, Ken Sande presented four 75-minute workshops at the 2022 and 2023 Care Net Annual Conferences to equip pregnancy coaches with the skills they need to be channels of God's wisdom and grace at this crossroad of life.

• Relational Wisdom: Going Beyond Emotional Intelligence – Relational wisdom (RW) combines the neurological insights of emotional intelligence with the theological insights of Scripture to create a practical theology organized into six key relational skills that can be applied in the life-changing interactions of a pregnancy center, as well as all areas of life. For more information on relational wisdom, see Discover Relational Wisdom.
• Seven Steps to Deeper Empathy – This breakout session will show how to develop Christ-like empathy, which will enable you to read other people accurately, show genuine compassion, and minister in life-changing ways. These skills can enrich your interactions within pregnancy decision ministry, as well as your marriage, parenting, ministry, friendships, and witness for Christ.
• Peacemaking: Turning Conflict into an Opportunity – Women with unplanned pregnancies often face conflict with boyfriends or husbands, parents and advisors. The peacemaking principles presented in this breakout session can help them reconcile relationships, resist coercion and build unity and agreement with the people who can support them in making life-giving choices. This session is based on Ken Sande's book, The Peacemaker, which has sold over 500,000 copies in 20 languages.
• 12+ Ways to Strengthen Relationships, Build Unity and Prevent Conflict in a Care Net Center – This breakout session will cover 12 key principles and practices for improving emotional intelligence, empathy, peacemaking, and problem-solving skills of pregnancy center leaders and workers. These skills can also be used to create more peaceful homes and to improve performance in the workplace.

Although these sessions were developed with pregnancy center coaches in mind, these concepts can be applied by any person who is involved in an unplanned pregnancy, whether you are the mother or father of an unborn baby, or a family member or a friend who is trying to offer hope, encouragement and guidance to someone who is seeking help in navigating challenge and opportunities presented by an unplanned pregnancy.

If you work at a pregnancy center, please feel free to use all three of these sessions for professional development training for your board of directors, staff and volunteers. You may also share these videos with your supporting churches as a way to deepen their understanding of the relational issues your center faces and to capture the hearts and interest of additional volunteers.

The videos in this course were pre-recorded at the request of Care Net, so they do not include the audience interaction that took place during the live training. Even so, each recording includes several places where viewers are encouraged to pause the video, break into small groups and discuss practical applications of the key principles. Therefore, although the recordings themselves are only about 75 minutes long, you could easily spend 90 minutes viewing and discussing each session.

The more time you take to engage with this material in practical ways, the more effective your team will be in developing and applying these relational principles.

As you will see, all of life—especially saving life—is about relationship!

This interview between Kirk Cameron and Ken Sande provides an overview of relational wisdom and biblical peacemaking.